One Outburst Can Erase Everything You Spent Years Building

Sermon outline

Self-control is a skill to be mastered through the word and the Holy Spirit, because it protects us, gives us credibility and guards our testimony, and a disciple of Christ is by definition a disciplined student of Christ.

1. Without self-control we are slaves to whatever controls us

   Food, lust, money and especially our words will rule us if we lack self-control, and that can put God's plan and our purpose in jeopardy. If you are struggling, get into the word, because most of our problems are a shortage of the word. When you deny yourself and surrender to God's way, you find a more meaningful life on the other side.

   “If you lack self-control, you are controlled by your whims.”

   • Matthew 16:24-25

2. Benefit number one: self-control protects us

   A man without self-control is like a city broken down, without walls. With self-control the walls stay high and the enemy cannot climb in to rob, steal or kill.

   Illustration: Every film set in medieval times has a great wall around the city that the people defend. Scripture says we are that city.

   “Without self-control we have no walls, so we're left open and we are vulnerable to anything and everything.”

   • Proverbs 25:28

3. Benefit number two: it makes us far more attractive

   People who carry themselves with self-control are seen to carry authority and wisdom, and others look to them for direction and act on their recommendations. He explains the Greek idea behind self-control as excellence and soundness of mind, leading to temperance, moderation and prudence. We are not born with it; it is a master skill we develop.

   “Self-control is to be mastered. It's the master art. We're not born with self-control.”

4. Benefit number three: it protects our testimony

   Young men are to be exhorted to be sober-minded, and to be an example in all things. We may have a wonderful testimony, but the moment we act on our whims it nullifies what we have to say: ten things done right can be wiped out by one done wrong.

   Illustration: In KwaZulu-Natal, he jokes, if the uncle drives a Cressida he is a very wise man. But the moment that wise uncle acts against his character, the family decides he has nothing to teach them.

   “We can do 10 things right, but the minute we do that one thing wrong, everything is wiped to the ground.”

   • Titus 2:6-7

5. We will be tested, and the war is in our members

   If Jesus was tested, tried and tempted, we will be too, so do not be surprised by the fiery trial. Paul describes delighting in God's law inwardly while another law wars in his members. Our flesh wants to retaliate while Scripture says turn the other cheek, but the old man was crucified with Christ, no temptation is beyond what we can bear, and prayer is our weapon.

   Illustration: Like the cartoon angel on one shoulder and devil on the other, we sit in the middle deciding whether to react or to obey.

   “It's not persecution. It's your perception of what's actually going on.”

   • 1 Peter 4:12
   • Romans 7:22-23
   • Matthew 5:39
   • Philippians 4:13
   • Romans 6:6
   • 1 Corinthians 10:13

6. One outburst negates the credibility you built

   When people sigh as you start to speak, ask whether you have read the room and whether your conduct has earned their listening. Credibility built up over time is lost the moment you throw your toys out of the cot. We keep boundaries for ourselves and drop them for others, and we treat people with partiality. Your gift will bring you before great men, but your conduct and self-control keep you there.

   Illustration: At the first church building in Methran Road, Avoca, he was asked to arrange a lyrics display and had it all costed when a woman suggested a Proxima projector instead, for the same money. He lost his temper with her, and kept going even after the pastor told him to stop. The projector was bought and changed everything, because a board could never show video or stream. For twenty years since, before any purchase, he has asked himself whether he has listened to everyone first.

   “All I needed to do was keep quiet. All I needed to do was hear them out.”

   • Proverbs 18:16
   • Malachi 3:8

7. Disciple and discipline come from the same root

   Children learn boundaries and how to manage their impulses from their parents, so undisciplined parents duplicate their weaknesses in their children. The Lord disciplines those He loves, and we cannot call ourselves His disciples if we do not accept correction and love one another. Disciple comes from the word for student, so being a disciple means being disciplined in the word, in conduct and in action. Before you react or retaliate, go to the word.

   Illustration: Our children are little mirrors at home: if we do it badly, they will do it badly.

   “Before you react, the Word. Before you retaliate, the Word.”

   • Proverbs 3:11-12
   • John 13:34-35
   • Ephesians 6:10-18

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