Your Home Is a Training Ground, Not a Battleground

Sermon outline

A blessed family does not happen by grace alone but by doing the work: forgive, make the home a peaceable training ground rather than a battleground, model the word in everyday life, and keep out the kinds of people who drain a home.

1. Principle one: forgiveness of others and of yourself

   Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven. The Bible does not minimise sin; it magnifies grace. When God covers sin we are restored, but when we cover it ourselves, by sweeping it under the rug, pretending, justifying or blaming our parents or spouse, we stay in bondage. What we conceal controls us. Confession is not informing God of something He does not know but coming into alignment with what He said. Forgive yourself in the mirror, and forgive your spouse instead of reminding them of yesterday.

   Illustration: Soap operas like Loving, The Bold and the Beautiful and Days of Our Lives are engineered to keep you in front of the screen, and they bring unrealistic expectations of marriage into the home.

   “What we conceal will always control us.”

   • Psalm 32:1-2
   • 1 John 1:9

2. Principle two: your home is a training ground, not a battleground

   If your home is not peaceable, the devil is in it. That does not mean nobody disagrees, but problems are fixed in a godly way. Neither constant fighting nor a fake peace is God's standard. Your spouse, your parents, your in-laws and your children are not your enemy; the war is in the spirit realm and in the work of the ministry. The enemy wants the war in the house because it keeps you from God's work, and where husband and wife are not agreed, the blessing cannot rest.

   Illustration: While you are fighting about the milk and the nappies, the devil is in the house.

   “Not perfect, peaceable.”

   • Psalm 144:1
   • Mark 3:25
   • Amos 3:3

3. Principle three: we train through everyday interactions and God's guidance

   God does not just want to get us out of trouble; He wants to teach us wisdom, and no university teaches you how to be a godly father or mother. As the Holy Spirit guides us, we guide our families, and our children follow, because we are the first form of Jesus they will see. Talk about the word at home and on the road, at bedtime and on waking. Raise real-life scenarios with your children and help them answer from the word, because if you do not teach them about sex and relationships, the world will.

   Illustration: "All men are dogs," a mother says. "So Mommy, are you saying my dad is a dog?" "No, your father is the exception." What hope are we giving our daughters?

   “Their first response is going to be you, not us. They're going to come to us when they realize it doesn't work. But the standard is built by you in the home.”

   • Psalm 32:8
   • Deuteronomy 6:6-7

4. Don't get stubborn

   Do not be like the horse or the mule that has to be controlled with bit and bridle; we should not need a crisis before we listen and obey. It is not my way or the highway, but what does the word say. Words of a godly man or woman spoken in the home outlast their presence and keep reverberating through the walls.

   Illustration: After more than twenty years of marriage, he says, he has an arsenal of scriptures, and in a disagreement the question is simply what the word says.

   “The word of God that goes out of your mouth lasts longer than your presence.”

   • Psalm 32:9

5. Teach reverence

   Teach children to respond quickly to your instructions so they learn to respond quickly when God speaks. A child allowed to ignore parental instruction is being set up for a lack of reverence for God, and when we make other events more important than the house of the Lord, they learn that the church is the last resort in a crisis. Teach them to be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.

   “A child allowed to ignore parental instruction is being set up for a lack of reverence for God.”

   • James 1:19

6. Five kinds of people a blessed family avoids

   Your social circle works like a hidden tax or an interest-bearing account. Avoid the parasite, who arrives in abundance and vanishes in drought and steals your time. Avoid the angry man, whose ways you learn and whose offences you start carrying. Avoid the sluggard, whose comfort over contribution is as contagious as a yawn. Avoid the flatterer, who cheers on your bad decisions and blames you when they fail. Avoid the gossip, because tomorrow you will be the subject. Keep your Holy of Holies for about five people, your spouse first.

   Illustration: His father told him the state of a man's room is the state of his mind; he updates it to the state of your desktop. Go to the ant, which needs no overseer to gather its food.

   “Your social circle operates either as a hidden tax or an interest-bearing account.”

   • Proverbs 13:20
   • Proverbs 19:4
   • Proverbs 22:24-25
   • Proverbs 25:28
   • Proverbs 6:6-11
   • Proverbs 29:5
   • Proverbs 12:1
   • Matthew 7:15
   • Proverbs 11:13

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